admin on November 21st, 2014

Beautiful image1. Identify the 25 elements of your perfect life.

Then, work directly to make each of these real.

2. Identify the 25 elements of your perfect life.

Then, ignore these elements and just live your life. See what happens.

3. Identify the 25 elements of your perfect day.

Then, craft your 25 perfect life elements to make your perfect day possible.

4. Identify the 25 elements of your life that are already perfect.

Then, expand or integrate each of these 25 elements.

5. Identify the 25 elements of your life that suck.

Then, eliminate or modify each element until a perfect life occurs.

6. Identify the 3 ways that you define success.

Then, pick 25 elements that will support these 3 measures.

7. Focus on something other than on you or your life.

Perfect your workplace, home or other environments and let these environments perfect your life for you.

admin on June 4th, 2013

I was talking to a friend yesterday and she expressed her desire to speak from her heart, always. I think this inspiration is for her. Or perhaps it is for me to follow my heart…

Does This Path Have a Heart?Path to nowhere

by Don Juan

Each path is only one of a million paths
Therefore, you must always keep in mind that a path is only a path.
If you feel that you must now follow it, you need not stay with it under any circumstances.

Any path is only a path.
There is no affront to oneself or others in dropping it if that is what your heart tells you to do. But your decision to keep on the path must be free of fear or ambition.
I warn you: look at every path closely and deliberately.

Try it as many times as you think necessary Then ask yourself and yourself alone one question. It is this: Does this path have a heart?

All paths are the same. They lead nowhere.
There are paths going through the brush or into the brush or under the brush.
Does this path have a heart is the only question.
If it does, then the path is good.
If it doesn’t, it is of no use.

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admin on May 14th, 2013

I was cleaning my papers and found this wonderful story of taking one step forward:Dove

The weight of a snowflake

by Kurt Kauter

“Tell me the weight of a snowflake,” a coal-mouse asked a wild dove.

“Nothing more than nothing,” was the answer.

“In that case, I must tell you a marvelous story,” the coal-mouse said. “I sat on a branch of a fir, close to its trunk, when it began to snow – not heavily, not in a raging blizzard – no, just like a dream, without a wound and without any violence.

Since I did not have anything better to do, I counted the snowflakes setting on the twigs and needles of my branch.

Their number was exactly 3,741,952.

When the 3,741, 953rd dropped onto the branch – nothing more than nothing, as you say – the branch broke off.”

Having said that the coal-mouse flew away.

The dove, since Noah’s time, an authority on the matter, thought about the story for a while and finally said to herself, ” Perhaps there is only one person’s voice lacking for peace to come to the world.”

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admin on April 3rd, 2013

I recently visited my brother and it struck me that he lived deliberately–that was the best way I could describe it. He served breakfast–a delicious porridge of grains, nuts and fruit–in the exact proportions he wanted. There were no leftovers to get mushy and try to get someone to eat later, or waste and discard (he does compost, so it’s not exactly waste and landfill).

I looked at my fridge. There was a half empty spaghetti sauce bottle that I hope we use before it goes mouldy; a soft green pepper that didn’t get into the spaghetti sauce we had last night; and, of course, the extra pasta that comes from kids snacking and not being hungry at dinner time. I try to plan. And I often forget the plan when I am rushing to get kids out the door to their activities.

Watching my brother go about his morning, I want to live deliberately.

What can living a deliberate life for you?

Everything in place


  1. You will have more natural energy. Eating, moving, and engaging deliberately is liberating.
  2. You will have a better attitude. Life feels more positive.
  3. You will be more attractive. People will want what you have.
  4. You will have more opportunities. Rather than rushing, you will be more observant.
  5. You will have less conflict. Thinking things through helps avoid hiccups.
  6. You will learn faster. Steps will be moving you forward.
  7. You will experience better health. You will make better decisions about what is good for you.
  8. You will experience increased creativity. Living deliberately gives you freedom and space.
  9. You will have more time. It means you can group tasks and eliminate redundant steps.
  10. You will grow. As you make decisions and achieve, you will become more of who you are.

Are you ready to live deliberately?

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admin on February 17th, 2013


Perfect is…

Perfect is not…

A feeling
An experience
A personal trait of yours
A favourite possession
A very special person
An adventure
A desire
Tiny details
A special memory
A leap of faith
An attitude
An idea
A prevalence of something
An absence of something
A way of thinking
An outlet for creativity
A cherished personal value
A success strategy
A respected weakness
A reserve of money
A sense of freedom
A level of patience
A stimulating environment
A nourishing environment
A special relationship
A surprising willingness
A meaningful routine
A personal standard
An exercise of faith
A unique talent
Being selfish, in a good way
A weapon to use against self
A weapon to use against others
A comparative
An exercise of ego
Freedom from imperfections
What used to be called perfect
A chance to impress anyone
Always easily measurable
Always logical
Always provable

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admin on October 29th, 2012

I was reading Chris Brogan‘s newsletter on the weekend. It was called “To Face Failure.” And, quite honestly, it irked me. Maybe it is the 4 grey days with threats of 6 more that has put me in this state.

Are you as tired as I am when it comes to failure being good for you? Enough already. I get it. You need to fail before you can succeed. You need to fall down while you are learning to walk. Thomas Edison failed over a thousand (or ten thousand depending on which version you read) before he created the light bulb.

What I want to know is: how do you have the desire to get up one more time? When is giving up an option? And what about giving up? Is giving up ever a good choice> Shouldn’t I sometimes, serenely, accept that some things can’t be changed and some things are not for  be to do? Isn’t acceptance the last step towards letting go and finding peace?

I have failed at a number of things. I failed at being a G.O. I left before my first six month contract was up, and it was in beautiful Bermuda, no less. I failed at triathaloning. Well, I finished the triathlon. I came in second last, and I had to walk most of the way, and I found out a while later that I have a condition that makes running long distances difficult. For many people, even completing a triathlon is a feat. For me, it was a failure. I wanted to be an Iron Man athlete. I gave up.

Now I am doing aikido, and I love it. It is hard work and beautiful at the same time. Could I have gotten up one more time and done more triathlons and, maybe, with the right training, an Iron Man. Maybe. But then, I might not have found aikido (I had to do something to get off my butt).

What do you need to give up on so that you can find something new and wonderful?

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admin on October 23rd, 2012

People like lists. It feels ordered, like I know what I am doing. It is simple. Just follow through. It feels good when I get up in the morning and make a list, or have one ready. Then I get to check things off, and see progress.

Of course, when I don’t check things off, it becomes the dreaded list: A reminder of how ineffective I can be.

Well, I am making progress. Today, I have struck one thing off my list.

I just need to keep going. At least, having a list means that I know what I need to do next to get back on track.

Here are some ideas from Russell Bishop at the Huffington Post on How To Use A To-Do List Effectively:

To start with, do you have a set of clearly articulated personal and professional goals? What are you trying to accomplish in what period of time and why? If not, most of this advice will be pretty meaningless. As I’m fond of saying, if you don’t know where you are going, any road will do.”

1) Determine which areas of your personal and professional life are important to you. A couple of months ago, we gave you some tips about how to determine what areas of life are important to you and how to set goals in those areas. Clarify what areas of life are most important to you (Health, Wealth, Personal Growth, Spiritual Growth, Relationships, Family, Career, Service, etc) and set a goal or two for each area.

2) Be clear what it is you are trying to accomplish and why. In earlier posts, we have distinguished between what you want and why you want it. That’s a pretty important distinction right there – just look at what you are focused on, why it’s important to you, and you may find that some of those goals or tasks just go away because they aren’t really all that important.

3) Determine what projects you will have to complete in order to move you toward accomplishing the goal. Make a list of those projects that are important to you personally and professionally.

4) Create separate lists for each key area. Now that you know what’s important to you, keep one list of your important goals, another list of projects you will have to complete in order to move you toward each goal, and a third list of action steps you can choose from.

5) Make a list of actions you can take that will move you forward in finishing each project or toward the accomplishment of your key goals. Don’t get too obsessive about having to figure out all the steps for each goal or project – at a minimum, all you really need is to know is where you are now and what’s the very next step required to get you moving toward that goal or project.

6) Make a little progress each day. As you move through the day, pick off action steps that you can accomplish now, with the resources you have available at the time, and then move to the next one. (One of my big lessons has been to break my list of tasks into like actions – I have a phone list for example, and another for actions that require internet access, and another for errands – no need to be looking at my list of actions to do at home when I’m at work, unless I have to do something during the work day that handles something personal – like make that doctor’s appointment for your child.

7) One of my absolute favorite lists is “Mind Like Mush.” I use this list for simple tasks that don’t require a whole lot of mental acuity and aren’t that critical in terms of timing. I turn to this list when my brain is drained. I get to knock of a few items with little risk of screwing them up because I’m not sharp – and an amazing thing happens most of the time – by knocking off a few simple items, I seem to catch a second wind and can then focus on more important tasks.

8) Review and update your lists regularly. Once a week, review your goals list to make certain you are making progress. Similarly, review your projects list to ensure you have a handle on those as well. Lastly, look at your task list to make certain that nothing slipped through the cracks.

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admin on October 16th, 2012

Looking for directionOver the last 10 years that I have been coaching, my clients have ranged across the demographic spectrum: male and female; young and older; new-to-business and old hands (definitely not decided by the previous demographic); making a killing to barely making a living.

One thing they all have in common: they want more.

They aren’t satisfied, some are even dissatisfied, with their progress, station, or lot. Have I met people who are satisfied? Yes. They are fun to hang around, generally, because they exude the aura that we want to capture.

But they aren’t my clients.

As a coach, my role is to help my clients play better–whatever game they are playing (mostly, a business game) and whatever better looks like to them. Better could be following a step-by-step business development program, like the one at Results-Without-Risk. Better could be tweaking your internet lead strategy, like at Or better could be downloading, A Perfect Life Realized.

And sometimes it starts with figuring out was better is.

For me, better was creating an affordable online program that helps struggling service-oriented entrepreneurs that gets them from barely making a living to on track for making a life, which is where I come in. And better was working with clients, who when they figured out what better was, if they didn’t know already, got right into the game, designed their perfect life and lived it.

Along for the ride

And I am along for the ride, like a kind-hearted driver’s education teacher who let you take the wheel and the gas. I watch for hazards, celebrate accomplishments (like relaxing your grip after the first trip on the freeway), and I apply the teacher’s brake when you just might be heading for trouble–so we can stop before you get there, change directions or move more slowly.

Better…is getting better and better all the time.

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admin on October 11th, 2012

I am thinking about the word, accidental.

I was talking over the lack of progress a client was making towards her goal, and it came to me. She is an accidental entrepreneur. That’s not to say that she didn’t decide to open a business. She did. Or rather, her husband did (but we will leave that story for now), and she is trying to make a go of it.

By accident, she is left doing all those entrepreneurial things that she never expected, and might have never wanted. She feels like she can’t get off the treadmill until it stops. I was reminded of the movie, The Accidental Tourist. And I have a book on my shelf called The Accidental Salesperson. The premise of the book is that most people get into sales by accident, not planning.

Can that happen? Can you get to where you are by accident?

If you believe in fate, or serendipity, or that there are no coincidences, then you believe that you are in the right place, at the right time, for you, right now.

How did this accident happen?

I think accidents happen when we are distracted from our plan. Keeping our focus on our plan, moving us forward, keeps us going in the right direction. We can see where we are going, and if we are going.

No plan?

Therein lies the problem.  Let’s see: you are going one direction. You cut off traffic to make a quick left turn. No, that’s not right. U-turn…..Eventually, you end up in an accident.

And that might be the right place for you, right now to stop and think. Is this the right decision, the right place? Remember, there is always the emergency brake (or emergency chocolate).

Stop life’s accidents. Plan.

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admin on October 5th, 2012

I was looking for a book for a friend on my bookcase and found a book for me.

The Invitation by Oriah

It doesn’t interest meDream Oriah Mountain Dreamer
what you do for a living.
I want to know
what you ache for
and if you dare to dream
of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me
how old you are.
I want to know 
if you will risk 
looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me
what planets are 
squaring your moon…
I want to know
if you have touched
the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened
by life’s betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know
if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know
if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you 
to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us
to be careful
to be realistic
to remember the limitations
of being human.

It doesn’t interest me
if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear
the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know
if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,

It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live
or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me
who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me
where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know 
what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know
if you can be alone 
with yourself
and if you truly like
the company you keep
in the empty moments.

What are you invited to become? By Oriah © Mountain Dreaming, from the book The Invitation
published by HarperONE, San Francisco, 1999 All rights reserved

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